Haru no Hatsukoi
by Akiban Dakuman
Summary: "Ne, Gokudera-kun. If I run, these tears will dry right away, right?" One-shot! One-sided 8627. Implied 27K. Implied 5986, perhaps?


**Haru no Hatsukoi**

**.**

_Spring's First Love_

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_Is it really true that first love won't ever be fulfilled?_

_._

_._

Miura Haru. A student in an all-girls school called Midori Chuu. Her life has been everything _but_ extraordinary. She lives in a normal house, with your typical modern Japanese family. She goes to Midori Chuu, and gets average grades. She takes home-economics, in order to learn how to become a good housewife (for her future husband).

Everything in her life seemed to be in routine. She would wake up at six-thirty in the morning, and get ready for school. Then, she would walk towards school, wearing her school uniform and a bright smile. During the weekends, she would either go out with her friends, or sit at home and practice her needlework. In a few rare occasions, she would grab some of her 'cake money' and head to the bakery to eat a pre-chosen cake.

As time passed, she decided that her life is boring. And so, she decided to break free, and she did so, bit by bit. She took a different route. She woke up, a few minutes late. And she began doodling at the back of her notebook, instead of paying attention at the teacher.

Her life changed when she laid her eyes on the baby with the fedora hat. And she learns that his name is Reborn.

Her heart began beating faster and she wanted to meet the baby.

She gathered up her courage, and decided to approach him. She is glad when she hears that Reborn knows about her. And she asks him to be her friend. She asks him if she could hug him, but he replies: "Don't touch me so easily 'cause I'm a hitman."

She, then, notices the boy beside Reborn. Her blood boils, and she slaps him.

How could he teach a child such things about the mafia? How could he teach such dark things to a child with a pure heart?

He claims, frantically, that he didn't teach Reborn all those tricks. He says that he has nothing to do with what Reborn is saying. But she doesn't listen, and continues to blame him.

Haru decides to protect Reborn (or Reborn-chan, as she calls him). And the next day, she appears in front of the brown haired boy, and claims to test him if he is strong enough to be a mafia boss, in order for her to believe Reborn.

Though she is dizzy she continues to swing her hockey stick at the future mafia boss. The boy claims that he will never become a mafia boss, and then a strange delinquent appears and throws dynamites at her, making her fall in the cold river.

She is having a hard time to stay afloat because of the heavy armour. She is gasping for air, finding it harder to breathe every passing second. There is a loud bang, and the boy saves her from drowning.

_Haru decides that Tsuna-san is her first love_

Haru knows that Tsuna-san has feelings for Kyoko. But she doesn't lose hope, that maybe- just _maybe _Tsuna-san might look at her in a different way. So she continues to support him, just like Kyoko and the others.

She and Kyoko were always kept in the dark. They didn't know what was happening; and they decide that they should wait for Tsuna-san and the others to tell them what exactly was happening.

The Varia's invasion wasn't the most traumatising event in her life. It was the _future time _that they had despised, oh so much. Learning about what happened to everyone close to her; Learning about Tsuna-san's death; Learning about her uselessness; Learning about her future self; Learning about Byakuran. It all reminded her that she could do _nothing. _

The future taught two things: 1) Reality was, and always will be, a bitch, and 2) Only the strong survive in the world.

_She swore she would change the __**future. **_

Once they got back to the present time, she trained herself into getting stronger. She even talked to Reborn about her future involvement with the Mafia. Tsuna-san was against it, but Reborn thought that she would be a valuable asset, so Reborn calls Lal Mirch out and asks her to train Haru. At first Lal Mirch was against the idea that is until she saw Haru's potential.

For a year and two months Haru spends her days in Italy, training with Lal Mirch and, at times, Colonello. She broke a few bones from time to time, and managed to earn a trip to the hospital, but she had learned quickly. Her sweat and blood weren't wasted.

It was after her training that she was given missions under the CEDEF. During her first mission, she had gotten assigned with Basil. Though they almost got caught, the mission to infiltrate the enemy famiglia was a success! They managed to get information and a few smuggled box weapons and rings.

Her first letter from home came from Tsuna. She was touched when she read about how worried he was, how everyone in Namimori was doing, and how he would be accepting the position as the Vongola Decimo at the end of the year. And she forever treasured the letter. She kept it in between the leaves of her diary.

On her fourth mission, she meets Yamamoto once again. Their mission involved smuggled box weapons and equipment being shipped to Russia. The mission wasn't that of a success, but they had managed to get out alive, much to their luck. After that mission, she cuts her long hair and vows that she will never fail again.

It was during the Vongola Inheritance party where she meets Tsuna-san, again. She was dressed in a simple yet elegant black sleeveless dress that reached her knees, and she stood out from the crowd because of her simplicity.

_When she saw __**him, **__again, her heart skipped a beat. _

Tsuna-san wore a black suit, with an orange buttoned up shirt underneath, along with a cape, which she recognised as the exact replica of that of the Vongola Primo. He had changed. Tsuna-san grew a bit taller; his eyes were a lot darker; his hair was a lot longer and spikier; and his complexion became a bit paler. The only things that haven't changed were his personality and his _smile. _

He stood up in front of the crowd wearing that charming smile. He was surrounded by his guardians: Gokudera Hayato (on his right), Yamamoto Takeshi (on his left), Sasagawa Ryohei (behind Gokudera), Chrome Dokuro (behind Yamamoto), and Hibari Kyoya (trailing behind them). He had the air of authority, and everyone in the room bowed at him, to show their respect.

She, on the other hand, could not move. Her throat was dry and her hands suddenly went cold. She wanted to cry. She wanted to laugh and smile. She wanted to run towards him and hug him.

_It was like she was falling in love all over again. _

His voice echoed throughout the room. No one dared to speak, and all eyes were at him. He spoke fluently and confidently. He spoke with a burning passion and an undying will. His voice _enchanted _her. His voice was like a spell.

_"… Thank you for coming, and I hope everyone will have a great time." _

She snapped back to reality after hearing the roaring applause that followed Tsuna-san's speech. Her heart was beating faster and her oxygen supply suddenly depleted. Haru rushed to the balcony, where there was a great view of the starry sky.

"Are you avoiding the Tenth, stupid woman?" that annoying voice reached her ears.

"Why do _you _care, Gokudera?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips as she faced him. "And My name is _Haru! _HA-RU!"

"Che," the silver haired man took out a cigarette. "You are really stupid, you know that?" he said after lighting his cigarette and placing it between his lips.

"Hmph. I'll pretend I didn't hear _that_," she stomped her right foot on the ground and turned around.

_"You're stupid for falling in love with the Tenth," _he breathed.

"Gokudera-san, the Decimo wants to speak to you," a random Vongola member approached them.

Once Gokudera left, she held onto the balcony ledge as if her life depended on it. She wanted to pretend that Gokudera didn't say those words. She wanted to pretend that Gokudera was wrong. But reality was, and will always be, a bitch, and everything he said was right.

She knew that Tsuna-san loves Kyoko-chan very, very much; and that she was only a delusional girl living in the Mafia world, hoping that her knight in shining armor would pick her up, someday. It was stupid of her to fall in love with someone that would never look at her the same way as she looks at the other.

It was stupid of her to fall in love with Tsuna-san. It was stupid of Tsuna-san to make her fall for him. It was stupid of Tsuna-san to fall in love with Kyoko. It was stupid of Kyoko to fall in love with Tsuna-san, in turn. It was stupid of Gokudera to point out the truth.

…And yet she couldn't place herself to blame them for her misery.

Tsuna-san and Kyoko-chan were her two most valuable friends. She couldn't blame them for falling in love with each other! She could blame Gokudera, but it wouldn't be right. He wasn't responsible for her misery, though he was part of it.

"Haru-chan?"

Her breath hitched. Why _him_? Why _now? _

She slowly turned around, a small smile plastered on her lips. "It's been a while, Tsuna-san." She wanted to hit herself at that moment. She wanted to scream on the top of her lungs. She wanted to cry and latch onto him, and never let go. She wanted to be selfish, for once.

"Is something wrong, Haru-chan? You seem awfully pale," his hand landed on her shoulder, and the simple movement made the hairs on her skin rise.

"I'm f-fine, Tsuna-san! You don't need to worry!" she moved her hands in front of her. She may be laughing on the outside, but on the inside she was crying. She was crying because she knew that everything was a lie.

A deep silence ensued. It was a bit awkward for the two. And for Haru, the silence was _killing _her.

"…You cut your hair…," Tsuna commented, breaking the uneasy silence.

Haru blinked twice before smiling. "Un. I thought it was getting a bit annoying, especially during summer! Unlike Tsuna-san, Haru has changed."

"That's not true!" The Vongola Decimo interjected. "Haru is still Haru. You haven't changed one bit! Well, maybe except for your hair," he grinned upon pulling on a strand of her hair.

"Decimo-sama!" a deep voice earned his attention. The two turned around and saw an old man wearing an extravagant white suit, beside him was a young girl, about their age, wearing a revealing red dress that looked a bit too tight for her and too much make-up. "I want you to meet my granddaughter, Donata."

Haru wanted to puke as she saw the look _that woman _was giving Tsuna. It was disgusting. _That woman _was disgusting.

"It's really a pleasure to meet you, Decimo-sama," the woman gave him a flirtatious smile.

"It's nice to meet you—," Haru scoffed. Tsuna-san was just too nice. "—but I promised this young lady a dance," Haru's amber eyes widened when Tsuna suddenly grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry, but she is insistent -," Haru twitched, and gave Tsuna-san a glare. Tsuna winced on the inside. He really didn't want to make Haru an excuse, but desperate times call for desperate measures. "I'm sorry, maybe we can talk in a later date."

_Or maybe, __**never**__. _Haru added as an afterthought.

The old man pulled his granddaughter away, muttering a small curse.

"Tsuna-san _used _me! I can't believe it!" Haru pointed an accusing finger at him.

"I'm really sorry Haru!" Tsuna raised his hands, "but it was the only way!" shivers ran down his spine when he remembered Donata. There was _no way _he was going to 'talk' to that woman. He was loyal to Kyoko-chan and that was that!

"Too bad, you're going to fulfil your part of the deal." That devious smirk playing on Haru's lips, made him worried. "I hear the orchestra playing, come on!" she giggled as she tugged the Vongola Decimo on the dance floor.

"B-but I'm a bad dancer," Tsuna whispered, and Haru rolled her eyes as she placed her hands on his shoulders.

"I'm _sure _Reborn-chan had taught you how to dance," she grinned when he fell silent. "A mafia boss must be prepared for every event, right?"

Tsuna laughed embarrassedly. "Don't blame me if I step on your foot, okay?"

Music filled the ballroom. People crowded the dance floor and yet the two didn't care. It was as if they had their own world. It was as if everything around them died out. It was as if the world stopped rotating.

_But everything has an end._

They snapped out of their reverie once the music died down. Haru managed a small, albeit wry, smile. "Tsuna-san is a liar."

"Eh?" Tsuna stared at her as if she had grown another head.

"You're a great dancer," she said, placing her tongue out. "You lied to Haru."

"Tsunayoshi-kun," two pairs of amber eyes widened as they recognised that voice.

"Kyuudaime!" they turned around and bowed in respect.

"I'm sorry but may I borrow, Tsunayoshi-kun for a while, Haru-chan?" the old man asked, smiling sweetly at her. Haru nodded, even though part of her wanted Tsuna-san to stay. "I want him to meet a few of our allied bosses."

Haru grabbed a glass of wine and walked back to the balcony, leaving Tsuna-san with the Ninth. She placed the glass near her lips and downed the drink in couple of seconds.

"When will you learn, stupid woman?" that annoying voice, again. Haru rolled her eyes and decided to pretend that stupid-Dera was invisible. "You'll only get hurt if you continue the delusion that you'll become the Tenth's wife."

She knew _that. _She knew that!

Tears began welling up her eyes. Even though she knew that reality, it still hurt.

Is it really wrong to fall in love? Is it really wrong to fall for someone whom you know will never love you back? Is it wrong to live in a world of delusion?

"…You're really stupid…"

Tears fell from her eyes, and she looked at the starry sky. Haru closed her eyes. "…I know…," she replied.

_Is it really silly to believe? _

Three years later, she manages to join Tsuna in lunch. He treated her to an expensive restaurant in Venice, and she was quite happy with it.

"Haru, I need your opinion on something," Tsuna said after they had finished eating.

"Shoot," Haru said, leaning back on her seat. She was willing to listen to whatever Tsuna-san will say. Her heart skipped a beat when Tsuna placed a velvet box on top of the table.

Was it really possible? She inwardly shook her head, knowing that it was too good to be true.

Haru couldn't help but feel anxious, especially when Tsuna-san opened his mouth to speak.

"I'm going to propose to Kyoko-chan…," he said.

She had stopped counting on how many times her heart broke because of the same person.

_Haru already knows that no matter how much she loved Tsuna-san,_

_Her feelings won't reach him. _

She busies herself with work. She tries not to think of Tsuna-san. She _tries_ and miserably fails. It was really pathetic on how her heart would get broken by the same person, and yet she would fall in love with him over and over, and over again.

A month later, she moves back to Japan and signs up for the Vongola Asian Branch. There she meets Kyoko-chan, once again, and her dream world shatters when she asks Kyoko-chan about the ring on her finger.

Kyoko-chan turned into a deep shade of red before saying: "Tsu-kun proposed to me a week ago."

_Her world stopped._

She couldn't find a reason to hate Kyoko-chan. She couldn't find a reason to hate Tsuna-san. They haven't done anything wrong to her. So, with her biggest, fakest, smile, she faced her best friend and said:

"Congratulations, Kyoko-chan!"

S_he knew what was coming, and yet she wasn't ready._

Haru was Kyoko's maid of honor, and Gokudera was Tsuna-san's best man. The wedding was simple, and only those with close ties with Tsuna and Kyoko were invited to the event. Haru admitted that Kyoko looked _absolutely gorgeous _in the white wedding dress, and Tsuna looked _absolutely handsome _in his suit.

As she watched her best friend walk down the aisle. She bit her tongue.

A part of her still wanted to find out how it would feel in Kyoko's shoes. A part of her wanted to find out how it would feel to become Tsuna-san's wife. A part of her was still not over the fact that she will never have her dream come true.

The ceremony was simple yet you could see the passion on the bride and the groom's eyes.

Haru had mixed feelings when the priest had announced: "You may now kiss the bride."

The reception was a bit different than any ordinary wedding. Tsuna's guardians had their own speech for the newly wed. And a sober Iemitsu hogged the mike, at one point, and started crying and babbling on how his son had grown up to be a great man. Kyoko could only giggle and Tsuna could only burry his face on his hands, in embarrassment.

The sky became dark later on. Most of the members of the party were drunk and wasted, including _the _Hibari Kyoya. Apparently, Hibari had a low tolerance for alcohol and switching his water with _sake_ was not a good idea. (Everyone blamed a certain pineapple haired ex-convict for the damages to the ballroom, especially since he was the only man who was both brave and stupid to get on Hibari's bad side.)

Haru managed to sneak off and proceed to the balcony.

"Tsuna-san is Haru's first love," she whispered, not caring if Gokudera was there to listen or not. "Kyoko-chan is Haru's best friend. And whatever I do, I can never hate the two of them." She laughed bitterly, weeping at the same time. "I was living in a lie. I've always known that Tsuna-san would never look at me like the way he looks at Kyoko-chan, and yet I continued to hope. I continued to _believe_. And now look at me! Living in a lie hurts a lot, especially when you're faced with the truth." Her hands were shaking, and the tears – those _damn _tears- won't stop falling! "When you're in love, painful things and sad things matter much, much more than usual, don't they?"

Gokudera remained silent. He sighed and leaned on the wall. He didn't even bother to smoke. All he did was listen, _listen to the weeping girl. _

_Tsuna-san was Haru's first love._

_And it ended with a broken heart. _

_Haru knows that she'll have to let go, but for now…_

_Haru just wants to cry. _

"Ne, Gokudera-kun. If I run, these tears will dry right away, right?"

"Che."

**Author's Note: **

Writing this was both tiring and quite enjoyable. Haru is just one of my favourite female characters in KHR. I, personally, think that she's better off with Tsuna than Kyoko. Anyway, what do you think of this fic? :3

**Word Count: **3,239

**Pages: **8 pages


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